If You Never Tri, You'll Never Know!

At Peace with Divorce


It is with a heavy heart that my husband and I have decided to part ways.

As we stood in the courthouse and listened to a woman rant about her daughter's emancipation we joked, "we got 99 problems but that ain't one" and fist bumped. It was a harsh reality submitting the paperwork and feeling relieved. "How do you feel?" we asked each other. "It's the right thing to do," replied husband. I was sad that I wasn't more sad... But he was right.

Wouldn't it be grand if all marriages had fairly tale endings? Everyone stayed happy riding up and down rainbows on unicorns? Yeah, that's just not reality. Divorce happens! People grow apart, mature, and change in ways that the marriage just can't sustain.

We aren't mad at each other. There was no abuse, addiction, or infidelity. We just don't work anymore. We have tried to make our marriage work for 4 years (to the DAY!). Divorce certainly wasn't our first choice. We did the counseling thing; we did the scream and want to kill each other thing; we did the sad cry thing; and we ended up doing the responsible healthy thing that's best for both of us.

"Sometimes good things fall apart so that better things can fall together."

If you think divorce is the end of the world, I'm here to argue with you. Divorce really can be a good thing; and a new beginning. A rebirth; an opportunity to see yourself as a whole again instead of half. An opportunity to make decisions that pertain your own happiness rather than someone else's. A chance to reflect on and learn from your mistakes and what kind of person you want to be as you move forward.

At least it is for me. I (we) had the courage to say this isn't right anymore and we BOTH deserve a new beginning; happiness.

The bottom line, divorce is hard. Phil is my best friend and I love him as such. Our marriage wasn't working anymore and we exhausted all means of reconciliation... Not without reluctancy and pain and sorrow, I am at peace with divorce.