If You Never Tri, You'll Never Know!

Crack Balls


So what had happened was... Trish showed up at the hizzy with (Ingredients) quinoa, dates, almonds, peanut butter, dark chocolate chips, and honey, and said, "We're making crack balls."
(thanks Gini Fellows!!)
I'm not one to argue when there's chocolate involved...

Night one: (Directions) Trish prepped 1/3c. quinoa. It only over boiled once. Refrigerate overnight.
Night two: we forgot.
Night three: we need to finish the crack balls!!

Put the 16 dates in a food processor and do it's thing until mooshed into a ball.
Lisa, "Umm, do these have seeds?"
Trish, "No." ~as Lisa pulls a seed from a date.

Deseed your dates. Proceed to food processor.
The dates turn into a mooshy ball pretty quick. Pretty sticky. Set aside.

Put 1/2c. raw almonds with skin in a food processor and pulse, making sure not to mill them.
Lisa, "What does that mean?"
Trish, "I have no idea, but don't do it."
~Lisa gets all wanderlust with her food processor. "It is so cool. The almonds dance."
~Trish considers drug testing Lisa.

Not milled, we add 1/3c. peanut butter, the quinoa, and the mooshed up dates to the almonds. 
Pulse until they're well combined.
Umm, yeah, that doesn't happen. Pulsing a ball of moosh doesn't work. 
Lisa, "I know, let's use this!" ~grabs the blender
~Trish is definitely prepared to drug test Lisa
Blender does not pulse ball of moosh either. Apparently blender is only good for blending.
"Wait, we need liquid!"
~Trish adds 1TB honey.
Well, the recipe doesn't call for any other liquid. How do you blend a ball of moosh and all that ^^ thick stuff in a food processor!? Apparently Lisa does not have some sort of genius super power food processor. So you might wanna pick one of those up too.

Lisa, "Our ancestors didn't have food processors, they used elbow grease."

Just put it all in a bowl and mix it together. Done. Mission success.

Roll this stuff into cute little 1" balls that resemble meat balls. Yeah, baby meatballs.
Meanwhile, microwave 1/4c. dark chocolate chips taking into consideration that hot chocolate melts and burns plastic bowls in the microwave.
Trish, "I'm pretty sure that formed some kind of carcinogen in the air that we're not supposed to be breathing." ~the house still smells like it. Don't go to sleep!!!

Drizzle the melted chocolate that potentially has melted plastic in it also over the crack balls (which are btw, nestled on a piece of wax paper on a plate). Refrigerate until you eat them all. 

p.s. these are stupid high in calories. Says Trish, "We can't eat these."