Friday, December 18, 2015

Replace It

Ever wonder when it's "time" to replace something? Moldy cheese, chunky milk, light bulbs...those are obvious. But have you considered other things with expiration dates? Do things actually have an expiration date?
Of course there are obvious things that do like a toothbrush and underwear (not so obvious for some)... but what about other things? I made a list!!


Toothbrush - every 3-4 months or when it shows wear. Not when your bristles have exploded and fall out, getting stuck between your teeth. It's also recommended to replace it after a cold, the flu, a sore throat, or an infection.


Running Shoes - every 300-500 miles. Maybe the outsoles look fine, but the damage is done inside. They begin to go "flat" or lose their cushion. You'll know it when you start feeling something strange ~a twinge of pain or soreness that was never there before.


Bras - replace regularly! Who knew!! But especially sports bras!! They have a limited life and should be replaced along with your replacement shoes. And your daily wear bras? Every 12 months or so.


Underwear - there's actually no rules here, but if your underwear have more stains than a church glass window and more holes than a horse-trader's mule, toss em!!


Socks - again with the rules... but if they start attending church more than you...

Air filters - monthly

Mattress - if a hotel bed is more comfortable than your own, replace it! If it's been more than 7 years, replace it! Sagging lumpy or worn down, replace it! (talking about your mattress here not your wife!).


Wine - daily. It goes bad once it's opened. So drank it down and replace it immediately! (yes, I used "drank" on purpose). But seriously, open, 1 week. Unopened, 3 years from vintage date, 20-100 years for fine wine. But don't just replace it! Call me so we can drank it down first!!

Dogs and Children - irreplaceable.

Unopened Beer - 4 months. Who would have unopened beer for that long!?

Chocolate - 1 year from production date. Who would have chocolate for that long!?

Husband - there are no rules for husband replacement either. He definitely needs an oil change every 5,000 miles or so. But if you find him parked in another families garage, REPLACE HIM!

Makeup - most of it has a 2 year life span. Use it up or toss it!


Loofah - I use mine until it falls apart. Uhhh, wrong answer?? Every couple of weeks. They breed bacteria. EW!


Bicycle Helmet - yep, even your helmet expires! You want to replace it every couple of years or after a crash or trauma.

I think I'm one of those few (billions) of people that use things and stuff past their expiration date. But just for the fun of it... after hours (a few minutes) of research, here are a couple of things you should NEVER use past their expiration date: eggs, raw meat or deli meat, veggies and fruit, soft cheese, fire extinguishers, and drum roll please.... CONDOMS.




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