If You Never Tri, You'll Never Know!

Cancer Sucks

I read stories. I hurt for families. I give back and support when I can.
It's never been so close to home though. It's honestly hard to write this because I'm still in shock and so confused and... I don't know, pissed ??

How is this even really happening? My brother is 39 years old. Is he going to die?
He cried to me, "I don't want to die."
Jesus. Have you ever heard someone say that?
The idea hurts but it has become a real pill that might need to be swallowed.
I'm scared. We're all scared. Not just for death, but for how sick treatment will make him. And their finances. And the new baby. And... there are so many things to scream about and freak out about and question and wonder and ... do you see? Can you understand? And the freak out is so much more intense in my brothers head. It sucks so bad.

And what can I do? I've never felt so helpless. What the shit am I supposed to do? Go to Ohio? Move to Ohio to help them get through this? Who else will help with the baby? With transportation? There's going to be so many doctor trips... How do we handle something so far out of our control?!

I had to sit down and recognize what I AM good at. I'm good at being positive and I'm good at raising money. So I'm going to do both. I'm going to be the sunshine. Even though, I don't know what all that means yet.

But I do know how to raise money. And I'm going to do that too. I've already created a GoFund me account. I'm going to put on events and collect gift cards and just anything and everything I can.
I will fight the finances while you fight the cancer. 

Cancer sucks. It's so stupid. And unfair. And bullshit.

Anything you can do to help my brothers family is greatly appreciated. He's a good man. He works hard, he lives within his means, he follows laws, and is just a good person. It's so hard to understand and accept this.

Thanks for listening, I just needed to talk. You'll probably get ears full more later.
And I hope you can help.