Just not ready yet...

IMG_1960I just spent 30 minutes looking for the bag that contained my bike shoes, and another 15 minutes jerking around with my trainer trying to find the right tension, and to stop the obnoxious squeaking that was reaching into the depths of my soul.

Its been 2 weeks since race. I've been living off the "you don't need to do damn thing" card, and rolling in egg rolls like its the end of the world.

Lets be honest, at this moment I am in a MOOD. A crazy "I haven't done a dang thing" in 2 weeks and just ate 3 egg rolls back to back and am now feeling WRONG in every kinda of bad way type mood.

I feel as though you are catching my drift. Tonight I should be completing my race report. I actually started it the moment we got into the hotel room after the race. I knew at THAT moment that I should have just done the whole thing.

It took me 2 months to do a race report for my first 70.3. I was in no rush. It was (and is) my moment, and though I want to (and will) share it, I will do it when I am ready and inspired. I truly want to share every moment with you all. So many of you were with me on that course. I wish you all could have been there, like it was just a giant team race, and even though I knew NO ONE (but a handful) of people there, I felt like we all were the greatest of training buddies.

IRONMAN Coeur D'Alene was one of the coolest experiences I've ever done. After each discipline was finished (swim, bike, run) I couldn't wait for the NEXT time I would get to do them again. 

I loved every second of it, even when I had to start walking because things were off (will fill in on my race report), I was actually kinda happy it happened because I learned so much about how my body works after being out ALL DAY long on my feet. 

I didn't feel like I swam 2.4 miles, biked 112, or ran my FIRST marathon, and I quickly want to thank my coach Jeff Kline for having me ready, and also to my strength coach Audra Adair for building me a program that complimented my training schedule. Without the proper build, and the additional strength work, that course would have probably been a nightmare.

So yes, I am here. I am alive. I was away from my kids for 3 weeks, so I have been ENJOYING them. I am moving to a different state in 7 days, and am mentally keeping my cool for that.

How do I feel? Amazing. Happy. Grown up. 

I truly feel as though I came home from that trip a different person, and a HAPPIER person. I am my OWN person. I learned so much, not just in the race but my entire trip. I know who I am, where I want to be and will let no one dictate the outcome of my emotions.

Sorry for hiding, though I haven't been hiding, I have been just BEING. Living life. Thrilled that Lisa and I have Ironman Arizona in November.

Thank you ALL for the amazing support. For your messages, posts, and funny snap chats. Like I can not grasp in words the the appreciation I have for EVERY SINGLE person that supported me. Again I wish you were all there. I mentally saw all of you, I had a lot of time to think :)