Week 4 (of 20) Barcelona 70.3

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Monday Jan 21 - at 2am this morning I found myself in a spinning nightmare of anxiety. A full blown panic attack was coming and shit, it's been so long, I didn't even know what to do. Having responded to a text from my mom and with a reply, "why are you up"... I took the opportunity to ask (beg) for help. I know from my past, the best way for me to get through a panic attack is distraction. It's crazy... no matter how many times this has happened and I know exactly what is happening and I'm confident it will come to an end, they are never any less painful, scary, or crippling. Panic attacks are agonizing.

We spent the next hour texting back and forth, addressing the feelings and what was happening mixed with silliness. My mom has rescued me from so many panic attacks, she's an expert distracter.

The attack came in waves. Each time sending my mind spiraling and my body to the loo. It happened 3 or 4 times total? Followed by extreme coldness, shivering, heart racing and me begging it to stop. The whole while, Luca and Jake slept. I just didn't have it in me to wake them. Mom was like (referring to Jake), "uhhh, that's his JOB; go get him!"

Finally I began to calm though and I knew it was ending. The whole episode was about an hour. I turned on Netflix, exhausted, and zoned out to some Family Guy before sleep took over. I'm not sure what triggered it exactly, but it sucked a lot. And I'm very glad today was a scheduled rest day so I continued to distract myself with work and athletes.

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Tuesday Jan 22 - slept like a BOSS last night and had so much motivation for all the things! Got some work done in the early a.m. and headed to run. Finished 4 miles and went to swim some laps when AHH, they don't open free swim until 12:45 on Tuesday's. I forgot!! I had near 2 hours to waste. WASTE!! I tried to work and phone service was shit. AHH! Eventually got in and got my 1,600m done. A few errands before arriving back home and getting to work (and play with Snapchat with my boo ;) ...
Missed an hour trainer due to my time forgetfulness. AHH! Va bene! (it's okay)
RUN 4 miles + SWIM 1600 meters

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Wednesday Jan 23 - I dreamt some kid was yelling at me to get him cookies in two separate bowls. Everyone hated the kid; I was the only one giving him a chance. But man, he was a shithead.
Headed for a long run today (hopefully the rain holds off!!).

You guys won't believe it... I made the entire 90mins and only the last 5 did it start sprinkling. WOOHOO! Now, my run was very slow. I haven't been feeling ideal on my runs, slow, heavy; honestly, unhappy. So I took today with no pressure - find my joy in running. With that I opted for a 5min run + 30sec walk. It was perfect. I felt strong and comfortable - and happy!! YAY!
RUN 7.5 miles

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Thursday Jan 24 - had so much work to get done this morning and Luca needed the car and it was cold as balls outside (so no Vespa) so I swapped bike/run brick Friday w/today's swim. Got on the trainer for 1 hour + a 30min easy run. And worked worked worked. Later, Luca and I took Jake to the tenuta for a sunset walk (2.8 miles). ^ that's a real picture. No filtering! Just. Beautiful.
BIKE 1 hour trainer + RUN 2.5 miles + WALK 2.8 miles

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Friday Jan 25 - 1,800m swim, lunch out w/Luca, and make your own pizza and movie night (watched The Great Wall - pretty good!) w/my guys - me on top of you on top of you style. And I got juicy insight at the pool! It's less busy M, W, F between 11:45 and 1pm. Boom. Score! - changing up my training plan!!
SWIM 1,800 meter

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Saturday Jan 26 - intentional rest day - WOOO! Luca and I spent several hours exploring Pietrasanta a nearby small town. We had an awesome lunch at Gatto Nero, a short steep hike to the castle, and fun photo shoot. Love my guy more than life itself.
REST DAY

Sunday, Jan 27 - rainy day, 2.5 hours on the trainer + brunch. Big brunch! Like made my own cinnamon rolls brunch!! <-- and omelets and hash browns! The rest of the day was spent working, relaxing, and movies (rainy day, remember?).
BIKE trainer 2.5 hours

Weekly Totals: I'm not 100% thrilled with my week, but it's okay. We are only in week 4 of training and coupled with some weight loss efforts that I'm working on, all will PROgress!
Swim x 2, Bike x 2, Run x 3
This stuff takes discipline and commitment. Week 5 is going to ROCK!!...