Skiing: My Slippery Slope
I feel like everyone loves to ski. From the announcement, we’re going skiing, comes all the “Oh My God! I love skiing” “Skiing is the best”, "You're going to have so much fun!" and all the envy of the "freedom of the slope". It's like, as humans, we should all have this ingrained desire to hit the slopes.
My desire is a bit different. I like the idea of skiing. You guys look so cool coming down those hills, slicing through the snow. Your skis, your boots, your matching suits with goggles, you look SO fly!
And man you make it look so easy - look how your skis stay so naturally parallel and your turns perfect as you swing your hips back and forth, shifting weight from one ski to another.
Fast. Sleek. Sexy. I want to be fast, sleek, and sexy!
Day 1 and I was terrified to even put the skis on. First of all, how do you walk so gracefully in these boots? I seriously could not figure out whether a giant heel to toe 'I am Hulk' gait was best or tiny tiptoe TinkerBell in monster shoes was more appropriate, or comfortable! It seemed like I was the only person around trying to walk on bricks.
But back to the skis... Prepare for freedom: lock myself down onto long narrow sticks that are literally made to slide, and learn how to control them. But first, ride this rickety lift to the TOP of the mountain before hurling myself down a slippery slope of snow in said devices.
Go skiing they said, it'll be freeing they said 🤔
With an instructor though, we got me on the skis and moving...
It's so easy for someone to say, "just" do this or "just" do that when they know how to just do it. Convincing my body to bend left though while my legs bend right, shifting weight from one ski to another to turn the opposite way was quite a concept. And "just" when I thought I was getting it, my brain stopped remembering what I was doing and I became stuck on the side of the hill like this: X
Fast forward: so now I've kinda got it and, go big or go home, right? Annnnd welcome to the blind terror of standing at the top of a legit ski slope. A mountain. In the Alps. After which a long ride up up up on this rickety lift with my love next to me breathing in deep air, exclaiming, "Isn't this so freeing!?" Can we please use the word literally again? We are LITERALLY locked in a chair just hanging here for we don't know how long or why! This is NOT freedom. Heart racing, palms sweating...
I love Luca and I really want to like to ski so Day 2:
My desire is a bit different. I like the idea of skiing. You guys look so cool coming down those hills, slicing through the snow. Your skis, your boots, your matching suits with goggles, you look SO fly!
And man you make it look so easy - look how your skis stay so naturally parallel and your turns perfect as you swing your hips back and forth, shifting weight from one ski to another.
Fast. Sleek. Sexy. I want to be fast, sleek, and sexy!
Day 1 and I was terrified to even put the skis on. First of all, how do you walk so gracefully in these boots? I seriously could not figure out whether a giant heel to toe 'I am Hulk' gait was best or tiny tiptoe TinkerBell in monster shoes was more appropriate, or comfortable! It seemed like I was the only person around trying to walk on bricks.
But back to the skis... Prepare for freedom: lock myself down onto long narrow sticks that are literally made to slide, and learn how to control them. But first, ride this rickety lift to the TOP of the mountain before hurling myself down a slippery slope of snow in said devices.
Go skiing they said, it'll be freeing they said 🤔
With an instructor though, we got me on the skis and moving...
It's so easy for someone to say, "just" do this or "just" do that when they know how to just do it. Convincing my body to bend left though while my legs bend right, shifting weight from one ski to another to turn the opposite way was quite a concept. And "just" when I thought I was getting it, my brain stopped remembering what I was doing and I became stuck on the side of the hill like this: X
And that was just the bunny hill...
Fast forward: so now I've kinda got it and, go big or go home, right? Annnnd welcome to the blind terror of standing at the top of a legit ski slope. A mountain. In the Alps. After which a long ride up up up on this rickety lift with my love next to me breathing in deep air, exclaiming, "Isn't this so freeing!?" Can we please use the word literally again? We are LITERALLY locked in a chair just hanging here for we don't know how long or why! This is NOT freedom. Heart racing, palms sweating...
My dismount from the chair lift was about as sexy as my 4 layers of ski attire...
"Just stand up". Yeah, "just".
The fear that enveloped me when we approached that hill, I don't think I'll ever shake. It was all too steep. Too extreme. It took one panicked crash to know this is NOT my cup of tea. And the reality that we have to keep skiing down this mountain to finish was paralyzing. Like, no! Get these skis off of me (because unlike in the movie ski crashes where the skis go flying and everyone is giggling in chaos, mine were still attached to my feet which were awkwardly and painfully LOCKED underneath me). I just remember crying "get them off, get them off!"
I love Luca and I really want to like to ski so Day 2:
Another lesson and I'm feeling a bit more confident. We found a track that was downhill but not steep at all and check it, I was having fun! It was very enjoyable and even the steeper part at the end I was feeling okay with. I honestly could have stayed on this track all day, over and over but I know Luca wants more. Trailing his tracks, I'm doing the steeper track now and really having a good time.
I still can't say I like skiing, but I'm at least having moments of enjoyment. And so, Day 3:
Before we even left the house I felt like I didn't really want to ski today. I was definitely sore and my legs felt heavy and tired; maybe my mind even heavier. I thought maybe by the time we got there and got all dressed up, I'd be excited. The reluctance remained and battling too tight, too loose, too tight, too loose boots, my frustration was rising. Warming up, my desire was cooling down. I convinced Luca into getting on the bigger lift with the instructor and waved 👋🏼 bye, have a nice time!! while I (feeling a bit defeated) took a little rest in the sun. I contemplated turning my gear in but decided to wait and give it one more go... A few more tracks with Luca when he got back and sadly I broke the news, I just don't love this.
I'm sorry. I wanted to so bad... but the truth is, I'm cold. I'm tired. I'm sore. And I just can't find the freedom in any of this. Maybe I'm a 2 day limit skier!? Or maybe I'm just not a skier...
Does everyone have to love to ski?! Am I truly alone in this?! Is there anyone else who feels the same? Is my slope the only slippery one!?
But since Luca says, "Well, we're still going to come skiing every year..." (which I'm totally on board with by the way!) I'm thinking, we can meet up! We can be the ski sherpas!
I'll bring the bourbon hot chocolate! We can romanticize about skiing around a warm fire, eating cheese and getting toasted...
But seriously, I humbly bow down to you super fly skiers. You guys make this look so easy... fast, sleek, and sexy! I'm envious ~ it's already a love hate relationship ~ and I will be back!
Does everyone have to love to ski?! Am I truly alone in this?! Is there anyone else who feels the same? Is my slope the only slippery one!?
But since Luca says, "Well, we're still going to come skiing every year..." (which I'm totally on board with by the way!) I'm thinking, we can meet up! We can be the ski sherpas!
I'll bring the bourbon hot chocolate! We can romanticize about skiing around a warm fire, eating cheese and getting toasted...
But seriously, I humbly bow down to you super fly skiers. You guys make this look so easy... fast, sleek, and sexy! I'm envious ~ it's already a love hate relationship ~ and I will be back!