Sunday, May 31, 2015

Rolling with my Homie (and a 4am of CRAZY)

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Just a fun overnighter to Fairhope, AL for Grandman Triathlon.
Always something though, right? Story time...

We left Friday around noon with the intent of picking up our packets and parking nearby the start line. Too easy!! We found a super shaded street (Jake came with and napped while we raced) in the cute little neighborhood. We planted the levelers and we were even able to put the slide out out a bit for more room. Totally legal parking spot, off the road, out of the way, BOOM. We grabbed our packets and blasted the AC (which means the generator was running) while we figured out, what's for dinner!? All is good in the Fairhope hood, JG and Tish swung by and picked us up for dinner at Pinzones.

The food was good, but major service FAIL. We were all there for TWO AND A HALF HOURS from sit down to peace out. By the time I got my SALAD, I had already eaten a couple slices of pizza and didn't even want it! SO pissed! SO disappointing. I will NEVER eat there again and I recommend you do the same!!

Back to the RV and ready for bed. Lights out, resting, awaiting the sandman. Man, it's getting hot in here. Holy HELL it's hot in here!! What THE!? I couldn't even breathe! I got up several times trying to figure out WHAT!? Amanda said she wondered how the heck I sleep in there that hot every night. Well, I DON'T!! Finally at 2am I discovered... my first OOPS with a guest on board - I thought I had the AC blasted, but actually only had the fan running. Oh my goodness!! As soon as I kicked that AC on, it was an ice house. RELIEF and SLEEP! But not for long...

4am, BAM BAM BAM on my back windows *scream, yell, holler* BAM BAM BAM on my side windows *scream, yell, holler*. Jake jumps up barking, I jump up WHAT THE FUCK, Amanda jumps up, OH MY GOD! It's a ruckus inside. I'm going for the gun...
We are looking out the windows (cause there's no way we're stepping outside. It may be safe pretty Fairhope, but just, no) and not seeing anything/anyone. Calming down... we are exhausted. I'm peeking out the back window and notice a cop car behind the RV (no lights flashing, just parking lights). This is when Amanda notices someone standing at a fence at the house we're parked next to and we hear people talking. We need to hear what they're saying!! We're trying to be all slick and slide the window open to listen. What we concluded - some crazy (potentially drunk) person ran by or was being nuts in the neighborhood and this neighbor must have also been victim or witness to the idiot. We only have an hour more to sleep, let's get to it.

Around 6am when we come out of the RV for our race, the (CRAZY ASSHOLE LUNATIC) neighbor lady approaches me cursing me out!! She's all, "ARE YOU LEAVING!? Are you going to run your generator all day!? You kept me up all night"... I don't even know what all spouted out of her mouth. Ohhh, now I get it... YOU are the crazy that beat on my windows and called the police on me. I asked, "Did you beat on my windows at 4 in the morning?"
~please note that I was CALM and COOL and COLLECTED during this entire interaction.
She screamed, YES!
I said, "Lady, you're lucky I didn't come out of this RV with a gun. You could have been shot! Are you insane!?"
She said, "Well the police would have been here to arrest you!"
Well, actually, no they wouldn't have because not only am I parked legally, but I have a right to protect my home which you INVADED at 4 this morning. So we go back and forth a few times and I claim I have every right to be there which OBVIOUSLY I did or the police would have came and knocked gently on my door.

1 - lady, why didn't you come knock!? Her response, "Why didn't you come out and talk to me?!" Ummm, because you pounded on my windows like a lunatic and scared the heck out of me!
2 - how did my generator keep you awake all night in the comfort of your home? I was sleeping ON TOP of my generator (like a baby from 2-4am mind you). Do you think maybe you're lying a little bit and just don't like me being in front of your pretty little flowered house?
3 - you KNOW there's an event with over 800 folks in your neighborhood going on this weekend. CHILL. You're welcome for spending money in your community.
4 - we have been parked here with the generator running since 2pm. WHY ON EARTH did you wait until 4am to bust up in my space!? <--- which was Amanda's point.
5 - I wish I would have smashed Jake's shit all over your house. I don't mean that but yes I do. And I'd never really do that but man it would have felt good.

Luckily there were police directing traffic at the race site because I was NERVOUS at this point to leave Jake ~at home~ while I raced. What if she did something to the RV or my baby!? I'd burn her house down. So I stopped and chatted with him. Told him she called the police on me last night but no one said anything to me. He said, the police probably came out and made sure I wasn't illegal or in the street and then shut her down. I bet she didn't tell them she beat on my windows though!! But he said I had every right to be there and I was fine. And if she touched my RV, he'd help me burn her house down (not really). But that made me feel better and I went on to race a 1 hour and 37 minute (HILLY) sprint triathlon.

We packed up after and got the heck out of there. We told a few of her neighbors passing by how crazy she was too. They all kinda definitely already knew. Ha! Go figure.
So, what I'm thinking... How about several of us rent or borrow some RV's for next years race and ALL park directly around her house and fire up our generators for the night? (I wouldn't really plan that, but man doesn't it sound great!?). You can't make this stuff up people!

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For next year... PARK HERE:

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