sunglasses AND umbrella

I realize that from day to day, week to week, my readings are exciting and adventurous to melancholy (and perhaps boring). Haven't I said before, I'm a tornado of emotions!?

That's reality. At any given moment, I am jumping for joy celebrating or deep in my soul trying to survive the storm. Everything's not perfect. And I don't remember trying to lie to you or pretend otherwise.

You get a behind the scenes glimpse every time you read my blog. You get an explanation of the smile I usually wear or details of my latest adventure, a question and answer interview with my soul, information I think is important, or just random thoughts. They could mean the world to me, or they could mean nothing at all. The goal of my blog is to let the inside out and hopefully it touches someone, somewhere, somehow.

My sun shine brights, absolutely. But sometimes the clouds roll in. Sometimes it storms. I can't imagine I'm alone in that. And I bet you feel as crazy as I do... Happy, YAY, I love my life. Sad, Boo, my life sucks ------ It's BALANCE!! Which is funny because it seems like the world just wants you to feel OK.

Ok is so neutral to me, numb? "Ok" closets deeper emotions. And it's usually hiding "uncomfortable" emotions. Maybe pain, disappointment, or loneliness.

Imagine a friend..."how are you friend?" Response, "I'm ok." <-- hidden emotions?? Because if friend was having an AMAZING day, I think she'd boast. She would want to celebrate that happy. You would see it in her eyes and feel it in her aura.
But "Ok". That's an unsettled but satisfying answer (for both parties). "Ok." All is neutral in the world and/or we don't have to talk about it.

And so later at home, friend forces ok to be ok. It makes sense, she doesn't want to feel uncomfortable; sadness and disappointment are unwanted. But I think that gets us nowhere. I think owning and FEELING is more beneficial than just ok - it's therapeutic. I mean, you don't have to write a blog and tell the entire world how you feel. You don't have to empty yourself on a table to every friend you come across... but give yourself the OKAY to feel beyond "ok". Just as you're okay with feeling happy and excited and joyous, allow yourself to feel sad, shaken, lonely or disappointed. This is where magic happens sometimes! This is where appreciation begins. This is where, in these moments of discomfort, your life could perfectly shift.

(in fact, in thinking, writing, reflecting... mine just did too!!)

As for me? I might be somewhere amazing adventuring, but bring sunglasses AND umbrella.