Jake doesn't leave my side. He's my best friend, the love of my life, my travel buddy; we've ran, walked, hiked miles and miles. We've thrown and retrieved that ball and frisbee millions of times. He celebrates with me, dances with me, calms me during my manic episodes, and tolerates the endless selfies, hats, sunglasses, and ridiculous adventures. I love that guy. And leaving him for a month has left me brokenhearted. Seriously, it made me sick kissing him goodbye.
Arriving in Kansas at Phil's house, he knew something was up. He was okay at Phil's apartment right away though so that was comforting. I'm sure he was like, hey, I know that couch; hey, I know that bed; hey, I know this guy, DADDY!! Staying for a couple of days was important to get Jake into some sort of routine and a sense that I am in fact coming back (I left a few of my things too, for reassurance ~is that nuts? Cause it kind of feels nuts. Like, does he even know that's my stuff and that I'm coming back or not for it!?).
These few days at Phil's place, Jake was literally glued to my side. Every time I walked out the door he had that look, this is it, she's leaving forever! But then I'd walk back in; relief. He'd climb on my lap, bring me all his toys and those loving eyes, thank you for coming back momma. He knew it was coming though. We'd go for walks and he'd look back constantly making sure I was still there. He'd peak around corners to make sure I was still in the other room. He'd lay in front of the shower to ensure my safety in the bathroom. He KNEW.
We had a nice chat about it though...
I was face to face with him explaining what was happening, "Mommy is going to go get grandma in Arizona and we're going to travel to California. You can't come because grandma is racing and mommy needs to support her. Then we're going to Disneyland and you aren't tall enough to ride the rides. After that we're driving back to Arizona, you'd be so bored. Then I'm taking an actual vacation to Punta Cana. 1) salt water. 2) you'd have to sit in quarantine if you went with me and that's like puppy prison. So, you understand right? Instead, you're going to stay here with daddy and play all month!" Jake sat there staring at me, listening, then looked back at Phil, looked at me, and let out one of his dramatic sighs. LOL, such a drama queen. Okay, Jake, I take that as a "fine".
My poor baby, it had to be so stressful knowing I was leaving, not knowing if I'm coming back. Who knows how dogs sense time. Does it feel like a few days or does it feel like years? Does he even think about me!? I asked Phil to tell him "mommy loves you" every single day. It's so hard for both of us. Can you say co-dependency!?
I think we'll both need therapy after this month.