I'm staring at the wall. Trying to process... trying to understand... trying to plan... trying to speak...
Mom called. I could hear it, I could feel it... My God mom, what happened? My heart pounds, my brow sweats... what is it?!
"Jamie has brain cancer."
My body sinks. I went numb. My eyes filled with tears. My heart breaks. Does this mean...?
What are we going to do? What are we going to do, I cry. How... what... why!?
We were just with Jamie! We've already done this! Why!!??
He was complaining of headaches, poor sleep, fuzzy mind, and his eyes were bothering him. We joked, you're getting old, time for glasses! He knew something was right, it got worse, QUICK. Calling his doctor he was taken in for a cat scan. He has a 3cm mass in his brain. This is more serious than we can understand, surgery is Thursday at noon.
Right now all we know is it is a metastatic tumor triggered from the melanoma. And the doctors want it out now. Right now. Like yesterday now.
I called him and he was his normal Jamie self. Ha ha. That made me feel better but I know he's so scared inside. He texted later, "this shit sucks ass and scares me even more. They are sawing into my brain! Holy shit!"
We have no idea what is going to happen. We are all so scared. And so angry. Cancer is such a mother fucker. Ha, or a brother fucker *eye roll*. Hey, if my brother is cracking jokes, I'm allowed to too!
We are reopening Jamie's GoFundMe account (link below). But mostly, please send your prayers and thoughts and wishes and energy, and all that magical love and support to my brother.