43 Years Have Been Lived

Today, I am 15,705 days old. 43 years have been lived. This year I share a few tips to live a smart, kind, understanding, peaceful life.

1. Know your worth. Then add tax. We've all seen this quote, but how many of us practice it? Understand your value and refuse to accept any thing less than you deserve. Take it to work, take it home, take it to your social circle, carry it with you through every day. 

You teach people how to treat you. When it comes to how others perceive and treat you, you are the one who sets the standard. The value you place on yourself is evident to others and they will follow suit. Whether you underestimate your worth or overestimate your worth, others will too. Establish boundaries and ensure that your words and your actions consistently reflect the value you hold for yourself.

2. Ask yourself "what does it matter" the next time you find yourself judging someone (for their clothing or hobbies or even opinion...). Taking a moment to pause and question why we feel the need to judge others can bring about a powerful shift in our perspective. Not only does this reflection remind us that our opinions may be based on our own biases or limited understanding, but it also opens up the opportunity for empathy and connection. 

By reminding ourselves of the insignificance of our judgments, we can choose to focus on understanding and celebrating our differences instead. The more you realize that it doesn't matter, the more relaxed and nicer person you become. 

3. If you think of a good idea, write it down! Your brain will trick you into thinking that you will remember it later. You won't! Lies, all lies. Write it down. 

4. Never send a work email when you're emotionally charged. Type it, let it all out, and then save it as a draft and walk away. Sleep on it. You will make smarter choices with your words and likely be more clear about what you want the reader to read when you're not heated. If you still want to send the heat, even after sleeping on it, read on to # 5.

5. If you're not happy in your job, and you can't improve the situation, get a new job. The average person spends over 90,000 hours working - do you deserve to work in unhappiness? Doing what you love will make you feel more fulfilled, make you more productive, will inspire others, and you will be winning! Life is more than work. Do work that you enjoy. 

6. When a friend is upset, ask them this simple question before saying anything: do you want to talk about it or do you want to be distracted from it? Alternatively, you can ask, do you want advice or do you want me to just listen. This question sets boundaries and builds trust. It shows you can be there in the way they need. Are we fixing, bitching, or distracting?

7. When you see a kid in a helmet, tell him/her how cool you think their helmet is. It will encourage them to always wear it in the future. 

With that, stop telling girls how pretty they are. How about we focus on how brave they are or strong, smart, funny. Compliment kids with powerful words to build self-worth and encourage good, safe behaviors. 

8. When you don't have all the facts, try to give people grace. Maybe an annoying slow driver is a mom with a birthday cake in the backseat. Dude at the store in a bad mood? Maybe his dog died yesterday. The cashier is quiet, mentally distracted? Not helping you fast enough. Maybe her grandma is sick in the hospital or her son is suffering from a bully. Give them some grace - quietly or expressively, how are you today? Having this mindset will gradually make you less reactive and more compassionate. 

9. Clothes are a terrible investment. Clothes shopping is often driven by emotional impulses rather than rational decision-making. People may buy clothes they don't actually need or will only wear a few times because they are motivated by the excitement of a new item. Clothes have zero resale value and you will likely end up with a closet full of clothes that you don't wear. Shop wisely.

10. Parenthood does not define you. Please recognize that our value and our worth is wrapped up in something far greater than whether we do or don't have children. Recognize it for yourself. Recognize it for others. 

11. March to the beat of your own drum! Allow your silly, wild, true self to shine. If the people around you don't allow you, they aren't your people. There is no "normal" and you don't have to fit any sort of "standard". Listen to your voice, follow your heart, hear your music, and trust your gut. 

I have a few more, simple advice!

• You can either make changes or you can make excuses.
• Feel the fear and do it anyway.
• Minimize social media, maximize social interactions.
• If you wouldn't say it to a friend, don't say it to yourself.
• Practice makes perfect. No. Practice makes better.
• The little things are the big things.